Part Deux!!

"Starin' at you takin' off your makeup
Wondering why you even put it on
I know you think you do but baby you don't need it
Wish that you could see what I see it when it's gone" -Rascal Flatts

Somewhat Serious MattyB here. Anyways since I have been in Delaware, and just trying to keep myself from being depressed and miserable , and really haven't concentrated on the whole dating game scene. While not an excuse, I have come to a few conclusions how I am going to proceed in the next few months, and I hope this will garner some tangible results.

As you most likely know I am generally a caring and decent person (insert your sarcastic comment about me here) and because of this I feel bad playing the game, that we all play. Now truth being told I am not the best player at this game, but in the few times I have I have played it quite well, and I have been somewhat successful. My whole problem recently has been keeping this up and not feeling bad for playing this game, while not being a complete ass.

The thing that I have in my favor is that I do know what I am looking for, and I think the Rascal Flatts quote above really exemplifies I find attractive superficially. I have been lucky, as in the past that I could have sung this song to any girl I was ever with and wouldn't have been a liar, and I also look for this same transparency in judging ones character. I feel that in life, I have had a very good record of correctly of analyzing people character and intentions early on when meeting people, and have not been burned or hurt by people of bad character and intentions. In the same breath, this is also why I feel I have struggled with this section of my life as of late. I think some of my fallacy can be attributed to the fact that my bar has been set very high, and that I have been spoiled by past relationships and friends in college and high school who have such class and are so complex, that I have not accepted anything less, which totally shrinks the pool of people who I would ever consider. I think I would benefit from letting my guard down a bit, and just swinging away, but that is not in my general nature. Again this shows how I am struggling in my effort to be more like a "Benny Guy" and less like a "Dinger Guy" as I documented back in May. Once I settle into an apartment in NYC (I am going to be looking at places all this week) I will try to put these words into action, as being more aggressive is going to be a necessity in NYC. I'll keep you periodically updated on my success or lack thereof. Honestly this idea frightens me, and I really don't feel overly comfortable in this mindset, but what they hell, some of the best moment in my life have come from me just letting my inhibitions go and "just going with it."

The adventure starts October 10th and I am pumped!!!