Serendipity- A laced up Jersey Diner

Serendipity 3 is a restaurant that is a block from my apartment. 99 times out of 100 I walk by this restaurant and there are tourists blocking my path down the street. These people annoy me, as they all fall into about 3 generic categories that I will describe in a second. Anyways so yesterday (Sunday) I unexpectedly made my first trip to this restaurant, and I figured I would detail it for you.

First off lets strip it down and talk about what this place really is. Basically Serendipity 3 is a Jersey Diner dressed up like an old lady's home. It is so popular because women across the country loved the movie entitled "Serendipity" that came out in 2001.

(By the way I was dragged through this movie MULTIPLE times by my ex-girlfriend, and the plot ot the movie has more holes than the Yankees batting order right now. )

I would describe Serendipity's interior as "lacey" and it tries to be very "1950's" in style. In this establishment you basically would expect a cat to run across the floor at any minute and for your grandma to be cooking you dinner. It has "retro looking tables too. One thing I didn't understand was the whole "General Store" aspect to the front of the place. I mean I get they are going for the old school theme, but they basically waste a good part of the store selling absolute crap. Like I can't think of one person who would like the shit they sell, maybe a bum or something.

Now lets break out the people who come to this restaurant. They basically come in 3 different types:

1) The whipped boyfriend and the sappy girlfriend-
Every time I see these people go in there I cringe, as I feel the boyfriend's pain. I mean I was almost "that guy" as my ex-girlfriend anted to go to this place in 2002, but luckily the line was too long (more on that later) and we were too impatient. This poor guy is eating at this place because his GF saw the movie and thinks it is romantic. He is going to overpay for diner food and ice cream to appease her and hope that by being romantic he can hook up later. He probably won't because she will be so full she'll get tired and want to go to bed and just cuddle. Sucks for him.

2)The group of 14 year old girls/middle aged women-
These are the people that clog up the side walk and make me want to walk into incoming traffic. they are the ones taking pictures in front of the restaurant and walking in packs of 12 at .002 MPH. They are either idealistic youngsters or old ladies who watch Lifetime movies. The will wait 3 hours outside the place to realize they could be on Route 17 in Jersey and paying 75% less for the same shit. They are predominantly from the Midwest (ie overweight) and almost always have one of those tourist maps in hand. They have no sidewalk ettiquite whatsoever.

3) Matt Billias type people-
I went there to see what the fuss was all about. I am sure there are a few people like me in my neighborhood that have done the same. I had their signature dish, the frozen hot chocolate, which was very good, but not worth the hour wait. Good thing I live in the neighborhood so I didn't wait outside at all. Seriously on Sunday if I saw people I know while waiting for a table there I might hurl myself in front of a bus.

I also realized that the waitstaff at Serendipity are douchebags. They were telling people outside that it was a two hour wait, while there were plenty of tables upstairs. I guess if I worked there I might hate the first two groups of people too and make their lives hell too. haha. Anyways thank you John Cusak for making my walk to the subway more annoying each day. I wish in your movie "Serendipity" you just stayed with your hotter wife to be instead of running around NYC to find that dumb bitch. Dammit I hate myself for remembering that movie. If you hadn't been such a sappy bitch I wouldn't have to wade through the mass of people whom make my block walk between 2nd and 3rd Ave on 60th Street a pain in the ass.

Southern Shores of Jersey

This past weekend much of our clique from Villanova descended upon the Southern Jersey Shore to Brian" Hitler Youth" Dingerdissen's beach home. We all made our ways there from various places on the eastern seaboard, but no one happened to travel the way I did. I took the bus to Atlantic City and then a bus from there to Ocean City, completely making it to Dinger's remote beach house using public transportation. What a "New York" thing to do. Anyways my trip was absurdly long as we hit tons of traffic as ever "Tony and Maria Seaside" were out on the Parkway trying to get down to their homes. I reached Dingers home around 9:00PM and I will list the highlights of the trip below.

I walked into the party at a very comfortable time, there were people there already, but it wasn't too crowded yet.

At once I realized Dinger has transformed his home it to Nazi Germany by enforcing a no sandal rule in his house, and various other rules trying to curb the spontaneity of our party.

Of course Justin decided to flake out on Friday night and postpone his arrival to Saturday morning. He did this for one of the following reasons, you choose:

1)Play with his dog
2)Eat dinner with his 27 year old girlfriend (200 dollar minimum)
3)Yell at the migrant workers at his house
4)Buy his 4th foreign car
5)Physically abuse minorities

As soon as I walked in I could feel that the vibe of the party would be one of different groups hanging out Here are the is how it played out the first night:

The oppressed majority:
Myself
Dan
Mike
Jamie
Christin
Leah
Jen

Switzerland
Greg
Meg
Jenny E.

SS Police
Dinger "Himmler"
Lauren "Trans America"
KyleGina (They were one entity the entire weekend)

As the "oppressed majority" laughed, had good times, talked about our college days, and just hung out we were always on the lookout for getting in trouble for spilling beer, making too much noise, and using shoes in the house.

Mike ate a whole cake during the night- true story.

On Saturday the weather in the morning was shitsville, so Jen, Leah, and Christin decided to flee from the oppressors, and go back to their respective homes. This left our main group with 4 people, and Justin rolled up in his Mercedes as soon as they left.

The rest of the day was a lazy beach day and around 6 we were getting restless. We (Dan, Mike, Jamie and myself decided to drive to the Boardwalk. After about 15 minutes Mike" I drive like an 80 year old Grandma" got us there safely, and we proceeded to go eat some delicious Hawaiian food. Our time on the Boardwalk was filled with countless inside jokes and retarded references that will most likely last all summer. I will add pictures of this joyous few hours later, but with campy pictures and Mike being the "Ice Cream King" I haven't laughed harder in weeks.

We bought beer and went back to the house around 8 or 9, and proceeded to drink once again. This night was a bit more eventful as we all seemed to drink a little more than the previous evening, as Dinger led the charge by drinking about 18 beers and eating 5 slices of pizza. I guess his "diet" isn't working out so well.

As the couples (Himmler/Trans America) and (KyleGina) played beer pong most of the night, the rest of us got hammered and rowdy. The cops eventually came because of the noise, and Dinger took a crap in his pants. True story.

The evening ended as I convinced Justin that Dinger's new girlfriend was on the show Trans America, as we all laughed at how gullible our future legal representation was.

I rode the degenerate Atlantic City Bus home and showered immediately.

Entourage was fantastic and I am already pumped for next week.