The Art of Courting

I really love to observe human interaction, and in no place is it more fun to watch than at your local bar or pub. I'm convinced these places exist for the sole purpose of breaking down people's inhibitions and creating a meeting point for old people to interact(yes if you are a college senior you are old), now that the days of the frat party are long gone. When I go there usually I have more fun watching people interact then actually creating new contacts myself. Partially this has to do with my self confidence issues compared to the guido Italians who infiltrate our school, and partially it has to do with my apathy, being that I am a Senior. Anyways my psychological problems not withstanding I have noticed there are basically only 2 different styles of courting that happens at the bar. These three styles can be personified, and here I am going to call one the "Benny" and one the "Dinger" personality. This will be fun!

The "Benny" Guy

This type of guy's attitude at the bar is like a lion roaming the grassland in search of a zebra.....He is on the prowl and looking for something to seek his teeth into. The "Benny" guy takes chances, swings for the fences and doesn't fear striking out with a girl. In other words a "Benny" guy doesn't leave room for "what if" and makes sure he exhausts possibilities before he moves on. A "Benny" guy also moves on quickly. He doesn't get discouraged by a failure or 2 and doesn't like to drag things out. This can be seen in a "Benny" guys dating habits too as he rarely lets a bad situation get out of hand. A "Benny" guy usually see a bad situation developing and gets out of it before it takes it's inevitable roll down hill. He might stick around for a few last minute and post dating hook ups, but mentally he moves on and breaks off the relationship quickly and decisively, not getting caught in the vicious cycle of making up and breaking up constantly.

The "Dinger" Guy

In direct contrasts to the "Benny" guy the Dinger is relatively passive at the bar. He only really interacts with people he is accustomed to and doen't reach out and try to meet any incremental people. The Dinger isn't aggressive and only ends up talking to new girls who approach him, usually meaning that they are quite aggressive and controlling. Once the "Dinger" guy gets into a relationship he is the opposite of a "Benny" guy as he tries to gain control and play mind games to try to gain the necessary upper hand needed to deal with the aggressive type girl. A "Dinger" guy tends to get caught up in the break up and make up cycle, as his passivity in social situations means he is nervous about meeting and finding another girl. He therefore will stay with a girl irregardless if he is still interested until he finds another one, due to his insecurity.

Ok so you might be asking why the fuck did I bring this up, and that is a very valid question. While the rest of us don't fall into these categories exactly, it is a sliding scale. The reason I bring this up is because in doing an analysis of myself, I feel that I am closer towards a "Dinger" Guy than a "Benny" guy and I am not happy about it. I feel insecurity is what drives someone to be more of a "Dinger" guy that a "Benny" guy, and that I personally leave bars and social situations with too many unanswered questions. I feel that striking out is much better when you go down swinging, and that being passive at this stage of the game is for pussies. In other words I just wanted to get into writing my formal declaration that I will now try to be more of a "Benny" guy and truly not give a shit. If this doesn't work, fine, but I am in need of a change of attitude and mentality. I am always open to trying new things and I feel that nearing graduation and Senior Week this would be a prime time to test out new things. I also have some new thoughts on dating that I have been thinking about that I will share very shortly.....